The life and times...

Of a semi-unemployed Craig.

Ha. And who would have thought it would come to be? I sort of did. I was "working" quite hard with my day job and then busting it for a few hours for The Guest List after my 9 to 5. Now, it's all different. The Guest List is the all the time job that doesn't pay me enough today, but could pay me all KINDS of things in the future. Not just money, but connections, travel, freedom, mobility, respect, and intrigue. These are things I don't think I can compromise for another $40K per year job.

Yes, I know. Stupid. But, what if all of the work I'm putting into this little website works out? After all, it has gone from 5 visitors a day to 30. From 30 to 120. And now, we just had 350. It ain't myspace, but it's Orlando only, so that isn't too terrible. We're shooting for the stars and the connections are there. Believing in something doesn't hurt, either.

It seems to be a lot more fun when work is something you like.

So, after a couple of years of me having money, spending on whatever I wanted (and still racking up bills and debt because I'm an idiot), life has forced me to change. I bought a bunch of shit (house stuff like a couch, hammock, coffee table, etc.) so that I can live comfortably and my friends can come over, since I can't really afford to go out right now. But, it'll all come back around again.

I've noticed that I work a lot harder for The Guest List than anything else, so that says something.

Anyway, check out www.orlandoguestlist.com.

I need a beer.

Move In Day

And I'm up too damn late. Mom is going to be at the new house by 9, which is more like 8:50, so I'm setting the alarm for 8. Let's see how it goes. That is approximately 4.5 hours of sleep, give or take rubbing one out. What? Ok.

So, we got the keys today, started moving stuff in, and a house is had. There's a backyard, a pool, plenty of space, and an office for me. I'm psyched. The house will be empty for a week or two, but other than that, it'll be fantastic.

I'm still out of work for the moment, but I feel that situation about to change. Dean is always there to help out and told me that even if the Harcourt thing doesn't turn out well, he's got shifts for me in the clubs. What a mench, as Melanie woudl say. The Guest List is doing better and better with new campaigns and sponsors on the horizon. That'll be cool. If you're reading this, hit www.orlandoguestlist.com. It's like supporting a friend to stay off drugs. Sort of.

Today is not only my move-in date, but also Pollard's Birthday. So, happy birthday to you sir, if your eyes pass over this. As I said in my voicemail, I'll hit you up with giftery when I: a) have monies b) see you next c) combination of the two.

For now, all is well. I'm going to go into a bit of debt this next two weeks, but what's more debt, eh? At least my credit is still somehow over 700. I swear, I've got to write that book on staying afloat while spending like a homeless person given a dollar twenty-seven in front of a 99 cent liquor store (I can dream, right?).

Hmmm...

It seems that some people are actually reading this crap. Now, if only those people could tell some other people, who would tell some other people... We could get a little following (no, I'm not using the space before the ellipse, damn it). So do that! Tell someone to read this. It doesn't suck that bad and I'm going to put some opinionated garbage up here so you can comment and tell me that I'm bad.

Eventually, if enough people get involved, we can start the Drunken Bastards podcast, a.k.a. The Mike Thomas Show Part II. We just need to get Mr. Weitzner on the Skype for a few minutes every week. He brings it all together. Imagine me holding my hands out in front of your face and making the bridge with my fingers, bringing it together. That, ladies and gentleman, was how JJ (acting teacher extradordinaire) taught me how to be. That, and not to keep all the tension up in my shoulders. You're not angry like this, he would say while turning delicious apple red. You're angry like this! Then, a trickle of blood danced from his nostril to the ground and he collapsed in an overweight mess of muddled clothing and cholesterol.

Moving on...

I'm on the job hunt, people. If you have anything, let me know. As of right now, I'm going to be doing Guest List stuff as much as possible, but that doesn't exactly pay all of my bills. After writing all of my bills down on a piece of paper, I was horrified to find the reason why I didn't have money even though I made a fair amount prior to my "separation." I spend too much. How much money do you spend on a typical night out? A typical dinner? I'm taking a poll, here.

Also, is the following statement the most racist thing you've ever read? (Note: I did not make this one up. Credit must be given to another Jewish fellow.)

Not a direct quote, but in quotations anyway:

"Have you seen American History X?"
(pause)
"Yes."
(giggle from orator)
"Curb kick... and rewind. Curb kick... and rewind."
(stunned silence followed by intense laughter)

Yes, there were "those" people sitting close by. It was awful and amazing. Your thoughts?

--
C

Tiger Tiger Woods Ya'll

I'm sad to say
Tiger won't play
Any more tourneys this year
Due to a knee tear (yeah, I know it's not a good sound rhyme)
But he'll return
in order to spurn
The rest of the field
once he is healed

Yeah! You liked it. I'm going to work diligently to continue posting on this lovely little blog that NO ONE reads. One day, though, there may be readers who read it and even go back into the archives of the blog to see what is happening.

I've been thinking about a lot of stuff since my "separation" on Monday and I'd like to take this opportunity to really do something I love, which is NOT working in a cubicle. I like what I'm doing with job #2, so I might as well make that #1. Who knows, maybe if I work half as hard as I know I can, I'll make something of it. 75%, even more. I don't know.

What I do know is this... If I work it out properly, I'll have enough money to pay my bills, eat food, and take care of Lola, which is all I really need. If it can grow from there, then I'm doing something right.

It is my hope that soon you will all see and hear more from Drunken Bastards, via a podcast and this blog. I'll be talking to Mike about this soon.

So, look alive for that.

Back on it... and maybe regularly!

A few things:

I've recently come into contact with some information about the ellipse (...) that made me uncomfortable. Apparently, according to some style guide (horeshit), the ellipse is supposed to have a space before AND after when it appears in a sentence. I find that to be poppycock. Absolute radishdouche. The way I prefer to see it is connected to the preceding word and with a space following.

Why, you may ask, am I ranting on the ellipse? Perhaps because I have been "separated" from my most recent company. Yes. It's happened. I got candled. Again, why? For this, I have no fucking reason. None. They said nothing. Not a "you texted at your desk," or a "your face doesn't fit our corporate culture," nothing. I laughed at the lady when she told me, because I couldn't believe they wouldn't give me a reason.

So, I'm down to one job, but I'm in "thought mode" for the rest of the week. I really want to figure out a way to not have to do the cubicle, office, tie thing, if I can avoid it. I may go back to serving for a bit, but I've already launched a freelancing account on elance, which is supposed to be a good way to get some gigs. I put up a proposal already and look forward to sifting and doing more. It's fucking work to find work. Lame.

Anyway, I may get back into the blog posting and I choose this one, because the logo is cool and I still drink too much. Hell, I may drink even more now. Who knows?

I'm still working job #2, which will now be known as job #1 and I may even bring 20-40 hours to that, just to see if I can make that happen. But, for now... I'm contemplating my near future. Any suggestions?

James Franco for President

Watch this, but pay attention to the last 15 or 20 seconds. I am now a James Franco fan more than I already was.

A beer lover's salute...

To Brett,

You gave us touchdowns,
broken fingers, delight.
You showed us sportsmanship,
manly ways to wear pants, so tight.
We lift a beer to you and yours,
on this eve of your last played down.
Now go put it to your attractive wife,
and grin while wearing your ultimate man crown.

Mr. Favre, your accomplishments will ring true through the halls of football lore forever. Webster's Dictionary should run a picture of your face next to the definition for "man." You were the ultimate quarterback. Your records stand as a testament to that. You gave football fans and television viewers wonderful things.

Thank you for your service.

The Great Dumbening of America

Here's a story today about a very dumb person. Let me introduce you to Michael Kaminski of Akron, Ohio:


Why does he look like that? He tried to rob two guys with a gun. The problem was one of the guys had a background in martial arts, and the gun wasn't real. It was a bottle of cologne. When the two "victims" learned it was a fake gun, the one with the martial arts background smashed "Kaminski to the ground face first and held him until police arrived."

So not only did this idiot try to rob people with a bottle of cologne, he failed miserably and was beaten up. To top it off, the bottle of cologned broke and spilled all over him while he was being held on the ground.

Hey, at least he smelled pretty.

Celebrities cursing is funny

A new video, just for you:

Garfield Minus Garfield

Penny Arcade linked to this site called Garfield Minus Garfield. They take strips from the comic and erase Garfield from them. Here's an explanation from the website itself.

Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolor disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against lonliness and methamphetamine addiction in a quiet American suburb.

For the lazy, here are a couple choice strips.

Pictures to come!

Don't fret, valued readers, we have not forgotten you. Recovery was in order after our showing at Orlando's First Annual Beerlympics and the consequent follow-up Beerlympics 1.25 that occurred at my apartment after.

Pictures will be coming shortly, as well as a full recap and even the first episode of the long-awaited (admit it, you want it) Drunken Bastards Podcast.

Stay tuned.

Beerlympics 2008 - Training Day 2

So we go to Craig's last night for a round of training. We start with 24 cans of Miller Lite and 6 bottles of Miller Lite. I show up at roughly 9:10 pm. By 10:45 pm, they were gone.

Craig, Cuba, and myself (Mike T. since I haven't formally introduced myself yet) did the majority of the damage. We had help from one other, but he left early. So we'll call it 3.5 people.

Thank god Craig and Cuba are good at quarters. I'm good at the other games, but I am woefully inadequate when it comes to bouncing quarters off of a table and into a cup filled with beer.

Beerlympics 2008 - Training

We're into it, readers. Well, probably reader, but whatever.

Regardless of our readership, Team Drunken Bastards has started the process. We haven't gotten Mike T. and Greg involved, but Cuba and I started a Quarters/Pong rally the other night that was intense.

Of course, we created a point system and already began gameplanning for the most effective two-man teams. (Beer Pong is played as 2 2-man teams, so we want one weak player with one strong player if we find that someone is weak at any game).

We both came along in Quarters, but I'll have to get him to take a picture of the damage we did to the shittiest dining room table on the planet. Don't tell Anne, reader. Don't tell Anne!

So, things are going well. This particular team captain (yes, I gave myself that hat) thinks we have a chance. I have NO idea how many teams registered, but we'll be ready.

Here's to more training! Chugging info to come...

Just because...

I think that this video (if I do this correctly) fits the theme of what Drunken Bastards is all about. Enjoy (if this works).

Maria Bolton!

Thanks to Maria Bolton, Orlando's very own multi-artist, Drunken Bastards has the coolest logo on the planet.

Check out her stuff at:

www.mariabolton.com

She also has a really cool blog and stuff:

http://www.mariabolton.blogspot.com/



Check her out! She'll be at Make-A-Wish's Orlando Walk for Wishes supporting the cause and walking for the kids.

Welcome to Druken Bastards

Congratulations!

You've stumbled upon the InterWeb's newest (and probably best) resource for all things ridiculous, absurd, alcohol-drenched, and fantastic. Drunken Bastards!

We're just like you, only we write things down. That's right, our literacy doesn't suffer from our drinking habits. So, maybe we're a bit better than you. It's ok.

Let me tell you something, though, because you are in for a treat. The Drunken Bastards are going to be representing (in force) at the 2008 Orlando Beerlympics downtown at Wall Street on February 23rd. From 7PM to 10PM, your favorite crew (us) is going to put it down in beer-related competitions.

This blog will highlight the details of our training sessions, the actual event, and beyond! We'll have drunken rants, sober (hahaha) information, news stories, etc...

Meet the crew:

Michael Thomas - Our Fearless and Incorruptible Leader
Michael Cuba - A true Statesman and Governor
Craig Brooks (me) - I'm out of Samuel Adams references

Soon enough, you'll be able to listen to us on iTunes. Why? Because there will be a podcast, damn it. The podcast will appear relatively often, so watch out for it's awesomeness. We'll post here to give you details.

For now, look out for updates on how Beerlympics 2008 training is going.

Drink up! Your liver can process more than you think.

-Drunken Bastards