The Great Dumbening of America

Here's a story today about a very dumb person. Let me introduce you to Michael Kaminski of Akron, Ohio:


Why does he look like that? He tried to rob two guys with a gun. The problem was one of the guys had a background in martial arts, and the gun wasn't real. It was a bottle of cologne. When the two "victims" learned it was a fake gun, the one with the martial arts background smashed "Kaminski to the ground face first and held him until police arrived."

So not only did this idiot try to rob people with a bottle of cologne, he failed miserably and was beaten up. To top it off, the bottle of cologned broke and spilled all over him while he was being held on the ground.

Hey, at least he smelled pretty.

Celebrities cursing is funny

A new video, just for you:

Garfield Minus Garfield

Penny Arcade linked to this site called Garfield Minus Garfield. They take strips from the comic and erase Garfield from them. Here's an explanation from the website itself.

Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolor disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against lonliness and methamphetamine addiction in a quiet American suburb.

For the lazy, here are a couple choice strips.

Pictures to come!

Don't fret, valued readers, we have not forgotten you. Recovery was in order after our showing at Orlando's First Annual Beerlympics and the consequent follow-up Beerlympics 1.25 that occurred at my apartment after.

Pictures will be coming shortly, as well as a full recap and even the first episode of the long-awaited (admit it, you want it) Drunken Bastards Podcast.

Stay tuned.

Beerlympics 2008 - Training Day 2

So we go to Craig's last night for a round of training. We start with 24 cans of Miller Lite and 6 bottles of Miller Lite. I show up at roughly 9:10 pm. By 10:45 pm, they were gone.

Craig, Cuba, and myself (Mike T. since I haven't formally introduced myself yet) did the majority of the damage. We had help from one other, but he left early. So we'll call it 3.5 people.

Thank god Craig and Cuba are good at quarters. I'm good at the other games, but I am woefully inadequate when it comes to bouncing quarters off of a table and into a cup filled with beer.

Beerlympics 2008 - Training

We're into it, readers. Well, probably reader, but whatever.

Regardless of our readership, Team Drunken Bastards has started the process. We haven't gotten Mike T. and Greg involved, but Cuba and I started a Quarters/Pong rally the other night that was intense.

Of course, we created a point system and already began gameplanning for the most effective two-man teams. (Beer Pong is played as 2 2-man teams, so we want one weak player with one strong player if we find that someone is weak at any game).

We both came along in Quarters, but I'll have to get him to take a picture of the damage we did to the shittiest dining room table on the planet. Don't tell Anne, reader. Don't tell Anne!

So, things are going well. This particular team captain (yes, I gave myself that hat) thinks we have a chance. I have NO idea how many teams registered, but we'll be ready.

Here's to more training! Chugging info to come...

Just because...

I think that this video (if I do this correctly) fits the theme of what Drunken Bastards is all about. Enjoy (if this works).

Maria Bolton!

Thanks to Maria Bolton, Orlando's very own multi-artist, Drunken Bastards has the coolest logo on the planet.

Check out her stuff at:

www.mariabolton.com

She also has a really cool blog and stuff:

http://www.mariabolton.blogspot.com/



Check her out! She'll be at Make-A-Wish's Orlando Walk for Wishes supporting the cause and walking for the kids.

Welcome to Druken Bastards

Congratulations!

You've stumbled upon the InterWeb's newest (and probably best) resource for all things ridiculous, absurd, alcohol-drenched, and fantastic. Drunken Bastards!

We're just like you, only we write things down. That's right, our literacy doesn't suffer from our drinking habits. So, maybe we're a bit better than you. It's ok.

Let me tell you something, though, because you are in for a treat. The Drunken Bastards are going to be representing (in force) at the 2008 Orlando Beerlympics downtown at Wall Street on February 23rd. From 7PM to 10PM, your favorite crew (us) is going to put it down in beer-related competitions.

This blog will highlight the details of our training sessions, the actual event, and beyond! We'll have drunken rants, sober (hahaha) information, news stories, etc...

Meet the crew:

Michael Thomas - Our Fearless and Incorruptible Leader
Michael Cuba - A true Statesman and Governor
Craig Brooks (me) - I'm out of Samuel Adams references

Soon enough, you'll be able to listen to us on iTunes. Why? Because there will be a podcast, damn it. The podcast will appear relatively often, so watch out for it's awesomeness. We'll post here to give you details.

For now, look out for updates on how Beerlympics 2008 training is going.

Drink up! Your liver can process more than you think.

-Drunken Bastards